argh!
i’m trying to get everything accomplished with success and grace.
it is not working out.
a decidedly new day
i alternate between being fearful of how low our current economic downturn can go with how many of us getting caught down in the drainage and alternately surging with the hope that has been sweeping through the nation, a.k.a. obama-mania. for now, i will go forward with the hope.
today, as the first bill he signed as president, obama signed into law the lilly ledbetter fair pay act. as i stand on the shoulders of my grandmothers, who stand on the the shoulders of their grandmothers, i am so grateful to see this day arrive. and i’m even more pleased my daughter will have this day as part of her history.
some things are beyond words
but i’m going to try.
the daughter turned one and of course, it forced me to evaluate life as i have known it.
there’s been the predictable, lack of sleep and reconfiguring of priorities…the intense love and protectiveness i’ve felt for my little bear cub…the evolution of my relationship with mark…the sense of being a part of something bigger than myself in an almost familiar pattern of “life cycle”
then there’s been the underside of new parenthood; how terrible those first three months were and the self-allowance to shop at wal-mart (!) because its cheap and open 24-hours. the fact that i’ve become that person refusing to read the news because if i hear of one more child being raped or murdered, i’m going to never let kit have contact with others and what a host of problems THAT would bring.
i’ve witnessed the transformation of each of us as individuals and as a collective unit. we’ve had generous people near and far offer to and give help. and the level of love we’ve been on the receiving end this year…well, really words just can’t do it justice. we may have had a difficult year financially, but when i think of the amount of love, support and humor our friends and family have bestowed upon us, i can honestly say, we are wealthy beyond belief.
thank you for making this first year all that it has been.
there’s something about cold weather
i love it when there’s a cold snap before the holiday season begins. it puts me in the right mood to do all those fun christmas-y things, like baking and crafting and feeling all happy holidays.
originally, i had asked off for next sunday and monday to get the cookies baked and ready to send off to family and friends, but since next week we’ll be helping my gemini wonder twin move back to new orleans, i decided to get baking done this weekend. by a sheer stroke of good luck, i was given both saturday and sunday off (rare! and lovely!) and i’ve been baking away. not so much one the crafting. for some reason, this year i can’t get it all done at once…i can’t imagine why that may be…
and speaking of the little miss, she met santa yesterday and it went much better than i thought. she was teary, but then decided he was too weird looking to miss the chance to inspect him while he was so close. she’s my little trooper. i’ve learned so much from her this year and look forward to watching her grow.
i really <3 my little family
i know that usually i rant and spew my annoyance on this blog. every so often though, i just have to let loose the happy.
stacie took this photo, on a day that seemed almost magical with happiness. we (stacie, kit & i) walked up to cooking on the square, ate gumbo and chatted away. on the walk home, we stopped in to see mark & matt. little munchkin was ooo-ed, and ahh-ed over the entire day…she kept her cape on and her spirits high, until she crashed early in the evening. not too very long after, i crashed and finally got some of that elusive sleep.
happy times.
lost in mis-communication land
i have to admit, i’m mighty jealous of people that work for a boss they get along with well. as a supervisor, i know there are decisions made that won’t make every one happy all the time. but i also know, as a supervisor especially, it is up to you as the person in charge, to be diplomatic about how you approach your staff and you have to l-i-s-t-e-n to what they are saying. otherwise, there is much opportunity for miscommunication. and conversations are about as productive as it is talking to a brick wall.
i know i have somedays that i am too blunt in my feedback and i get easily irritated when the simple tasks are forgotten or managed poorly. what can i say? i don’t like working with chuckle monkeys. and after a grace period after you’re hired, either suck it up and learn to do your job or don’t let door hit your arse on the way out. that said, i know that my expectations are probably too high to work where i do. i expect to be encouraged to excite people about coffee or specific drinks, not because they are this week’s promo item, but because they might actually like a bean profile or enjoy the taste and velvety smoothness of properly steamed milk. i expect to have a team of people, equally excited and dedicated to producing quality, not quantity. i also expect the resources to accomplish this. i know perfection won’t happen because that’s the nature of the beast. but i was taught to strive for it and to effectively deal with what you have in front of you to achieve it as closely as possible. i also think it is the role of the person in charge to pay attention, not just to numbers, but to the people. when you figure out a way to get the robot humans to do my job, then feel free to ignore me. as it stands now though, if you want your numbers to look good on the spreadsheet, you might want to pay the attention to what will enable us to get the results you’re pushing so hard to reach.
when the day comes that i find that dynamic, i will be mighty pleased. until then, i’m off to talk to a brick wall.
let me introduce you to my friends, jack & johnny
maybe its the political atmosphere, the tanking economy or the earth’s rapid rate of destruction, maybe its the lack of sleep, the jackhammer induced headaches or the late-night taco bell cheese induced coma, or perhaps maybe its a latent case of the baby blues…
i’m feeling rather ridiculous as a person. i don’t like the feeling of sinking into the deep pockets of my head. grrl child has seemed like a handful as of late and i’m feeling very under-appreciated both at work and home.
too many nights in a row, i’ve been crying myself into a fitful state of sleep. every morning is more difficult to get up and why should it not be? there is an unending supply of dirty laundry, dirty dishes and cluttered space. i spend my evenings at a job that is no longer enjoyable, working to achieve unattainable goals, surrounded by people that are like aliens whom i cannot find the energy to connect with in any meaningful way. what is the point of doing anything if it doesn’t have meaning?
sometimes i just hate the crap in my head
ever have a kickass awesome day only to end up with mutant brain energies that mull over all the crap that doesn’t/shouldn’t matter…rendering the day of awesomeness null and void? ARGGH!
birthday wish
there is but one thing that i desire. it is an impossible notion, but one that would make my world an easier place to live…
i want mark to grow milk boobs, so i’m not the sole meal provider.
