the lizzer

listen, i have to warn you that what i write here will not be nice, not be appropriate, and potentially not be something i want anyone to know i thought of, much took the time to write down. that being stated, if i don’t get this out i’m going to explode.

today is the day before a holiday. a travel holiday, if you will….meaning most people are going somewhere fun to do something fun, thus in order to get to somewhere, they are driving. most people who drive to somewhere fun to do something fun, are in jolly ol’ moods. i mean even of they are in a bunch of traffic on the interstate they see that green siren beckoning them for a gooey coffee elixer, they get off the highway, stretch their legs, laugh at our po-dunk town and are generally nice to people who are overworked because we control the sugared java…and, as stated, they are on a travel holiday! wheee!

however, on this travel holiday, people have been complete jackasses. and i’m sorry if you have to wait in line for a stupid frappuccino and you are jonesin’ for sugar, but please notice we have two blenders. Two blenders to handle, one venti strawberries and cream, two grande caramel, one tall cinnamon dolce, one tall decaf mocha, one grande raspberry mocha, one tall vanilla bean, one venti (poured into two tall cups) orange cream, three venti white mochas, one tall decaf java chip, one grande coffee light, four extra caramel (and drizzle on the inside of the cup) frappuccinos…that plus, at the same time, there are drinks to be made in proper order at the hot bar, coffee to be brewed fresh every hour-or because of the volume of people coming through, every twenty minutes, whip creams to be made, dishes to be picked up in the cafe because people are ignorant when it comes to the self-bussing concept, floors to be swept, your child’s vomit to be mopped up, bathrooms to be santized and stocked because none of you jackass people know how to sit on the toilet and keep the urine and poo inside the bowl, garbages to constantly empty because you stuff them with all the crap that’s been in your car since the last pit stop…and if you are noticing this, maybe you could notice that we have a total of four people working. one in drive thru, one on the front register, one at the hot bar, and one at the cold bar. we also have to make sure all of the four get their breaks in time, leaving three on the floor to handle all above tasks, oh–and answering the never-ending phone calls, restocking shelves, grinding pounds of beans-or better yet, having to measure out quarter and half pounds of beans, refilling the pastry case, the ready-to-drink case, supplying the condiment bar, making more frappuccino base because no one had the good sense in the morning to recognize it would be a travel day and didn’t set up the day/night crew with enough–all that and you have been waiting in line, get up to the register and act like you have never seen a starbucks menu in all your life. and maybe you haven’t, so you have questions. we are more than happy to answer your questions because honestly when you find a drink that you love, you are more than likely going to be happy with your overall buckster experience and when that happens, you are more kind to the person at the register and that happiness is carried over to the next person in line, you are more happy while waiting in line and don’t get huffy when the brady bunch in front of you has ordered a million modified drinks and your cup stands empty for a good five minutes, even though your barista is trying to chat pleasantly with you as she crafts a number of drinks all at the same time, and you’re much more than happy when she hands over that iced grande 3 pump cinnamon, 2 pump vanilla soy with caramel and mocha drizzle caramel macchiato and you take that first sip and it. is. delicious.

but noooooooo—you are a crusty, no vagina-ed old woman who obviously is such a bitch your friends prefered death to your company, your children have moved across the country as to no longer have to even spend a holiday with you and your dog decided the railroad tracks were more comforting than the folds of your moth-ridden lap. and you decide that today, today will be the day that you want to “speak to whoever is in charge because it is obscene how long the wait has been for a simple cold drink!” ‘yes, ma’am, i know the wait is longer than normal, we are experiencing a large volume of customers right now and are working as hard as we can. your drink will be up in just a little bit. i understand you’re ready to get on your way, and i do want to thank you for expressing your concern, unfortunately there is not a lot i can do right now, aside from help to ensure all these drinks get made.’ (the part that isn’t said but is apparent to anyone paying attention, as long as you’re there bitching at me, that’s one less person making drinks, making the wait time even longer) “that is simply not good enough!” ‘ma’am, is there something i can do to make it right?’ “no, you little twit, there is nothing you can do right, as evident by this line!” ‘well, since that’s the case, i’m going to finish making these drinks. i do hope you have a better day and enjoy the fourth tomorrow.’ you snort in response. i turn to make drinks and secretly wish that whatever horrible bugs have crawled up your ass, painfully come out of your nose and ears while you are driving to the lake and you end up going over the hillside in your gas-guzzling SUV with the “still the president W” sticker so that i never have to lay eyes on your cracked face again. you bitch.

just finished the documentary “ghosts of rwanda” and every part of my body aches.

most gut-wrenching quote: “we’ve got to recognize, in each one of us…there’s such a potential for good…and such a potential for evil.”

you should watch it…or at least find out more about it.

and why i am starting to hate the people who use the word ‘ridiculous’

we have menu boards in a visible location once you walk in the door. they have the prices clearly marked. then why, when you order a venti mocha with added syrups and a classic coffeecake, do you snort like a billy goat, roll your eyes, and make a snippy comment to me about the “ridiculousness of starbucks”? motherfucker, don’t come in here then. or at least understand that i don’t set the prices….and i don’t twist your arm to buy the most RIDICULOUS products.

okay look, i know that i work in the service industry, which means more or less that i am at the beck and call of every person that walks into the store any given day. and the company i work for strives to ensure each employee goes above and beyond the standard, thus ensuring our customer base with “legendary service” but surely there has got to be a line drawn in the sand.

today, doctor x (a regular, not really the most pleasant person, but never all that horrible either) paged doctor y with the store’s number while standing in line. he requested that when doctor y called back, i ask him what he wanted to drink….and that if he said he didn’t want anything to give him a hard time. this is not my idea of a good time, i could sense that things could go terribly wrong. plus, paging a doctor seems like it should be reserved for important things, not for some crappy frappy. but i wasn’t about to let any of my baristas have to deal with it either. well, when dr. y called in, he was not amused. after explaining that i was calling on behalf of doctor x who just was wondering if he could pick him up a beverage, doctor y said, “no, i am not interested. what are you guys just calling people now to get orders? you are ridiculous.”

yes, yes, a thousand times yes. but you, sir, are an asshole.

this is the price i pay for health insurance.

the death of americorps

Originally uploaded by kassera.

this is probably the most disturbing news. the southeast regional campus will be closed down. the better to spend our tax payer dollars on sen. stevens “bridge to nowhere”

a>

bought new tires today, paid my car insurance, and have a full tank of gas.

and that’s my monthly fun allotment for december.

so today is national meth awareness day.

there aren’t many things i can agree on with our president, but meth is an evil thing.

if you can get beyond the creepiness of the site narrator, this is a good location to find answers to any questions.

so today i am following orders and acting on a patriotic whim and offering a psa for anyone willing to listen.

in addition…. todd jarrell’s four-part series on meth.

serves ya right

Originally uploaded by kassera.

so those of you in the know, have been privvy to the day to day “challenges” at the bux. and those of you in the know also know that some of these challenges should be handled by the someone in charge, but that the someone in charge has been…shall we say, inattentive to the needs of the store, leaving those of us actually running the store with more than our fair share of duties.

well…after a “discussion” between myself and mayor mccheese, things are indeed changing. it has been grand watching him taking control of the madhouse and kind of losing it and not completing all the tasks that have come to be “expectations” for shifts on duty. and might i add, these past few days have been some of the craziest at the store and also the most delightful for me because i get to actually make drinks and chat with customers. which believe it or not, it is my favorite part of the workday.

so whoo-hoo!

an additional f.y.i. - the person who has ultimate responsibility IS ultimately responsible and should be held accountable, whether in charge of a coffeeshop, or a country.

we are the a part of the wealthiest society and yet there are so many people in need of health care that actually provides the necessary tools to LIVE. why should it take someone two months to find out if indeed the doctor is correct and they have cancer, or to find out from other doctors that no, they don’t have cancer, but thanks for playing the “holy-shit-life-is-fucking-cruel” game?! it pisses me off that people have to pay so much money for things like examinations and multiple doctor visits when there are books and fancy dog food to buy.

chances are if the insurance company refuses to pay for the expensive as hell tests, people are going to go without and that leads to just more painful and heartbreaking situations…like do i even tell anybody because what good is it going to do anyway? if it turns out to be nothing, then i’ve put the people i care about in some pain for no reason. meanwhile, you sit with this possibility lodged in your gut. your emotions play dicator, reason takes a backseat, and genuine happiness evades you. oh, you try to be happy because what if this is the last time you have to enjoy a summer? (because let’s face it, if you can’t afford the tests to tell you its cancer, you sure as hell aren’t going to have the money to get treatment). but real happiness is tainted by the ever-present thought of “youhavecanceryouhavecanceryouhavecancer”

but i digress…this postsecret card is a representative. and i just wanted to say sometimes people have their reasons for making life-altering decisions and they really don’t owe you any explaination—they might just be trying to figure out a way to fucking live…because in the end, you can talk about community-building and all sorts of other happy horseshit, but we all know what living in this money-hungry capitalist country means…

…you have to take care of your own damn self because the government isn’t going to help, and business will only offer you assistance if they can make a profit off you, and those that shout the loudest about coming together as a community have their own agendas. so maybe you could learn not to judge others by your own preconceived and misguided notions. it just might not be about you, but the instant you decide to attack someone for no other reason than just to assert your authority, you should know that the rage that has been gnawing at them will now be ready to take you on…so live with that bitches.

and just for the record, i know that i should be grateful that the big bad “c” has only given me a scare rather than setting up shop in my body, but it is tough to be appreciative when i can’t go about my daily tasks without a serious dizzy bout and trashcan vomitting. perhaps it is just selfish of me because let’s face it, it is not cancer and whoo-hoo to that, but i’m still angry at the emotional toll from the initial misdiagnosis.

the uneasiness that resides in the pit of your stomach, the ache that lodges in your heart, the disappointment that never seems to dissipate….oh, how sad it is when friends are no longer.

and yet it is so much more deflating to see a friendship crumble from the outside. disrespectful tones and words said in anger, laced with the sting of abandoned bitterness, are much more difficult to forgive when you see the malicious intent of one party to another. your heart tries to empathetically encompass the injured party’s sadness, but there can be no comforting during some parts of the learning process.

it is a tough break, this breaking up stuff. meant for the sturdy (and maybe bull-headed) folk.